A Word on Wellness:
Happy New Year! What a great time to think about our mindset and how it is helping (or hindering) our growth. Whether you have a New Year's Resolution or not, consider this example of two different mindsets toward the goal of starting to run in the New Year:
I would like to start running, but I'm not a good runner. My first run was really difficult, I knew I just wasn't a good runner. Man, these other people who like to run are so lucky. This was a waste of a goal since I'm not good at it, I should just stick to the things that I know I can do.
I haven't figured out how to enjoy running yet, but I'm going to try. If my friend can run regularly and love it then I probably can too. Everyone starts somewhere. My first run was brutal, but that's what happens when you're learning something new. It will get easier.
Dr. Carol Dweck, out of Stanford, looked at whether people believe their talent, success, intelligence are innate (meaning they are born with it) or whether they believe it can be achieved, learned and cultivated by hard work and perseverance. She coined the terms Fixed Mindset and Growth Mindset to describe the two. You can see in my example above that Human 1 has a fixed mindset, whereas Human 2 has a growth mindset. As you can imagine, if you believe that you can grow, learn and achieve, you are going to behave differently. You are more likely to stick to things, more likely to be positive and work hard.
I often tell my clients, "be careful what you tell yourself about yourself." If you tell yourself, I CAN'T ______ , I'll NEVER ______ then it will be virtually impossible to grow. If you want to work on being more assertive, but you are constantly telling yourself, "I am just a passive person," then there's no motivation to work at something you don't believe can change. See what I mean?
Watch where this shows up in children: "I'm not good at math, I can't make friends, I will never like sports."
Or in business, "We will just never hit that goal, we can't compete with ____, we will never be THAT successful." Examples of the fixed mindset are everywhere.
As you set some intentions for this new year, or as you go through the ordinary day, be curious about this. Pay attention to your mindset, do you tend to have a Growth or Fixed Mindset? If you catch yourself in a fixed mindset, can you notice this and see what it feels like to change your perspective to one that sees growth as a possiblity?
Something to Read:
Anxy, a beautifully designed magazine with the goal of challenging the stigma around mental health, has their second edition out and the topic for this entire issue is: The Workaholic
Something to Listen To:
"Where Should We Begin" with Esther Perel has been my obsession these past few weeks. Each episode takes you inside a one time counseling session with a couple. Each couple and their issues are at once unique and relatable. Grab some tissue.
Expect quotes, observations, tips and reflections.